The best jokes of the day on 07/08/2013
***
Instead defeated Association "The Voice" authorities plan to establish the organization "Sit", "Down", "Fetch" and "Sic".
***
The National Assembly of Swaziland has banned witches fly higher than 150 feet above the ground. Russian State Duma is to strive for!
***
- I do not give women ...
- Do you want to give your phone a good psychologist?
- Come on!
Through the week:
- Well, I went to a psychologist?
- I went ...
- And?
- And I do not give ...
***
Misprint in the Duma adopted a law on insulting the feelings of stealing.
***
Brain and nerve cells are born and die, and the body - live forever.
- I have a neighbor, a very intelligent person! He never says "I poh * py."
- What did he say?
- "I'm on the drum."
- He's got a drum??
***
Forget about traffic jams! 560 tons. 3500 hp BelAZ-75600.
***
Parents for the summer to her grandmother sent her son ... boy spent three months in the cemetery!
***
- The book was just struck by its contents
- Wow! And then read the content?
***
I can not get up, the blanket was pressed to the bed.
***
Our divers are provided with reliable satellite navigation.
's time to think about the miners.
***
Before you start chatting with a friend on Skype - smile and wave to the camera. Be polite - say hello to the CIA.
***
Few find Kleve man. We still have to find out what he pecks. And what is his fishing rod.
***
Sobyanin is clearly the weakest candidate for mayor. Just think how many resources thrown his support.
***
And now tell me what is in the black suitcase, which constantly wear for President:
a) The device launch intercontinental nuclear missiles to repel the aggressor.
b) tracking device for each of the citizens of Russia, to govern effectively.
c) The change of underwear, a set of passports, dark glasses and a wig. So, just in case.
***
Hundreds of Tajik and Uzbek academics, living in basements, provided at bargain prices scientific development of the RAS.
***
Historian - this is fiction, describing the past.
***
- Sam, as you understand it?
- I understand it is not necessary. Be sure to love and time to feed.
***
- Son, you would be less with the girls walking around ... God forbid, even some of you will pick up an infection.
***
- Why do these daily soup called?
- Because those daily that paid business trip, and you can only buy this soup ...
***
- What is the force, brother?
- Normal force - in Newton, and the current - in amps.
***
- I can not imagine how people used to live without computers! Such a boring, I suppose, was.
- Uh-huh. Balls, duels, hunting, trade fairs, bloody repression, palace coups. Straight had nothing to do! ..
***
"How to Steal a Million" - searching the Internet for the poor people, and the word "confiscation" those who have stolen it.
***
Watch curling. Perhaps they clean the house ...
***
When the office is very boring pastime can be anything, even accidentally stopped by salesperson, who then tries to run away from us the opposite.
***
- Well, you're faced with it under my window ... Well you hugged kissed her ... Well ... so what? What makes you think that I deliberately poured out on you a bucket of slop?
***
FSC has released a new guide "Limits and fits."
***
Under Putin, computers have become three times faster.
***
Did you know that back in the school toilet Moebius tore half the paper than anything.
***
In Russia - a special way. Pointer - at every fence.
